So, this is probably an odd thing for
me to write about, but why not, eh? In recent months, there has been
a bit of controversy in the news about public breastfeeding. It
seems there have been a few cases where breastfeeding women have been
asked to cover up, cease and desist, or take their mewling spawn to
the depths of the forest with the other beasts (I may have made up
the last one). Outrage has often resulted, though articles and
Facebook comments defending the original complaints have also been
seen.
In all this, I often say to myself,
“Just what sort of people are doing the complaining in these
situations?” This gets the occasional odd look, but it's not like
I'm the only one who talks out loud to himself on the bus.
For a woman, it seems there are a
number of normal reactions to seeing another woman breastfeeding in
public. One is to see the joyous bond between mother and child,
rejoice that there is still love in the universe, and go home with
renewed affection for her own children. Another is indifference,
because, hey, it's not like there's a mystery about what's going on
there.
For a man, one reasonable reaction is
to politely avert the eyes, out of respect for the mother's modesty.
Another understandable, though less laudable reaction, is to go to
one's friends and say, “Dude, this chick totally whipped her boob
out right in the middle of the mall! It was awesome!” These two
hypothetical men had very different reactions, but neither one of
them was offended.
So, who are these offended individuals,
who find that the sight of a woman nursing her child in public,
particularly uncovered, to be such a grave transgression? What
follows is a partial list, unaffected by the biases that tend to
accompany actual research.
The first is a young, sexually active
woman who fears getting pregnant and becoming a mother. Seeing
another women using her breasts for their primary biological purpose
strikes to the very heart of her insecurities. Complaining furthers
her goal of pushing pregnancy and its associated responsibilities out
of her view.
The second is a young, sexually active
man, who either is the partner of the woman in the previous example
or wants to be. One reason for his complaint is a desire to show his
partner that he is of one mind with her in her own complaint.
Another reason is that he likes living in a fantasy land where sex is
just for fun and never leads to pregnancy, where breasts are for his
enjoyment and not for the nourishment of a crying little creature
that poops everywhere.
The third is a slightly older woman who
desperately wants to become pregnant, but has been without success.
It is as if the nursing women are flaunting their own fertility and
mocking her lack.
The fourth is a man who is worried that
if his eyes inadvertently flit to the area of interest, he is not
attractive enough to avoid a sexual harassment charge. To him,
public breastfeeding is some kind of entrapment scheme. Complaining
helps deflect any accusations toward him, while also preventing
future events of the same kind.
The fifth is a prude of either sex.
This is the sort of person who shuns art museums and refuses to read
National Geographic. He or she is probably religious, but, even if
married, is probably not having much sex.
Those are just theories, and if anyone
has any other ideas, let me know. If anyone was not offended, let me
know what offends you, and I'll try to get it into my next entry.
My own thought on the matter is that a
mother should be free to nurse in public. If her beliefs or sense of
modesty so dictate, she can cover up in the manner she deems best.
It should not, however, be dictated by those around her, who, after
all, can avert their eyes, if they find nursing so distasteful.